marionLoh

我的頭很痛。

很痛但我還是堅持要寫博客。

我在發牢騷時，會一直講不停，講完了還是想要講，一直念不停。或許是不敢相信會發生這些事，或許是發牢騷其實帶不走我的不滿，但真正的原因是。。。

其實眼睛已經很想關。。。

欠罵？想睡幹嘛還在blog還在用電腦？

你真的以為我想這樣的嗎？

I know it's late but I need to post about this before it expires in me! 

Disclaimer: Am going to take about Jin and KAT-TUN separately! 

About Jin. If Jin is a legendary character, I bet 15 May would be recorded down as one of the days that he had caused commotion. Regarding the tweets he tweeted yesterday, at first for me I thought it was quite cute. I mean, being frank and direct are what makes him Bakanishi! And it was sweet isn't it if I don't think about whom it is for... But after seeing the much angst reponse from other fellow fans, I was somehow affected by that emoness. Well, for myself I wasn't really depress over the fact that he is in a relationship, but more about Jin always doing things that make being people fall into an anxiety state. I hate to bring this up, but even though I wasn't there but Jin left in 2006 nor when he left last year, I still could feel how the other fans felt. Then I can't help but think about how Kame felt during those period of time. I am not in denial I believe they are still close I think because everytime he has things his way, people end up accepting all the decisions he made. Because that's the only thing everyone can do to make themselves feel better. I am involved in him as much as I am for Kame, so he doesn't need to live within my expectations or my knowledge of him. But for the other fans, I believe some of them feel like they can't understand him anymore?? Oh and just a whatif, what if this happens on Kame instead? Like suddenly he confess to the world that he has a girlfriend, or worst, wife?? But it's different, isn't it? Kame's a magician who decides that he won't reveal his magic tricks (he said it himself), so I wouldn't be too surprised. But Jin has always been revealing about his own personal life. So probably fans got the misconception that they know a lot about Jin, even his private life. But yesterday he has proven it to be invalid. 

啊～人啊，在尋找一部分的自己時，難免會遺失一部分的自己。 還是應該說其實這些都是自己，只是當一個人專心開發某部分的自己時，一定会忽略掉别的部分的自己。

就好像尋找回學生身分的我，卻辛苦了想要玩樂的自己；也好像想要讓自己多用華文打blog，卻遺忘了那喜歡用英文的自己。  

人有太多太多不同的自己。這些自己有時難免是相沖的。有了這個自己就必須放棄它相反的自己。明明都是自己，為甚麼最後都不能一起是自己？

God played so many jokes that I couldn't laugh anymore~

I found complaining the best way to vent dissatisfaction. And when I complain about something, I am not running away from it; rather it is the evidence that I am actually making myself face it. Why would I even bother to complain if I am escaping from this? It is exactly I am trying to accept it that's why I have to let myself feel beter!